After all these things
All of our feeble plans and hoping.
I still cannot control the winds or
The fires burning in the forest far away from anywhere.
I am only a small and insignificant thing.

We booked the hotel at the first hint of a date.
a tuba and a baseball field
without knowing for sure.
the rooms would be in short supply once word got out,
so we appreciated the little innuendos.
the lineup never mattered to me.
This was your party and we would come.
No questions asked.

We bought tickets in October 
the moment they were available.
the lineup looked great, but it didn’t really matter.
We were going for each other.
We would board planes and cross borders.
To finally be together.
It was a hope and a prayer in uncertain times.

I never could control the winds.
I try and grab them and they just slip away again.

Everything seems hell bent on testing a faith I never had. I still try and plan for all contingencies.

(we never had control)

We watched in horror as the troops moved into our peaceful cities.
Blood stained the snow and washed away in the melting.
This was never something any of us wanted.
But the leaders just keep asking for more money.

I begin to wonder why I would ever leave my peaceful garden.

A week away and it seems the odds are stacked firmly against success.

The headlines are dismal, but at least my house isn’t burning yet.
Explosive Diarrhea?
Boundary Waters Burning?
Smoke on a Summer’s Day.
Excessive heat.
Unhealthy Air.
I can’t breathe.
Ice murders another immigrant.
Platner is an another jerk.
Mitch, is he dead or alive?
and no one knows for certain anymore.
Nothing is certain anymore.

The trip takes on the weight of symbolism.
We are in a story now with a different sortof logic.
It is a test.
It wouldn’t be a quest if it was easy.
(Faith is never easy. We hold so much worry in our breaking hearts)

I ask the cards and they give me The Sun.
another flimsy thing to have faith in.
I throw it down and build on it anyway.

travel advisor?
of course, never learned to control the wind.
is god laughing at me?
text reads:
hahaha lol.